When women speak - and are immediately spoken over

On dismissal, gender bias and the voices we lose

Introduction: The everyday silencing

Before I go on: I’m a feminist. Not the shouting kind. But the noticing kind. The one who works with researchers, leaders and academics - and sees, again and again, how gender plays out in subtle and systemic ways. Most days, I work with stress, grief and leadership. But sometimes, I just need to voice this side of me. Because ignoring it isn’t neutral. It’s part of the problem.

I remember standing in front of a classroom, mid-sentence during a lecture I had given many times before. I was explaining a key concept when a male participant interrupted me. Not to ask a question - but to rephrase and explain the content back to me. To the room. As if I hadn't just done so.

The worst part wasn’t the interruption. It was the way the rest of the class responded. Several nodded. A few jotted down notes. Not from my explanation, but his.

This is not an isolated experience. It’s familiar to many women in professional spaces. It’s not always overt or cruel - but it’s there. The subtle silencing, the way women’s words pass through the room without anchoring, while men’s echo.

I’ve also had a man – intelligent, thoughtful, kind – tell me, with full confidence, that what I had just described from my own lived experience as a woman “couldn’t possibly be true.” He didn’t mean harm. He simply trusted his worldview more than mine.

Over time, this does something. Not just to the speaker - but to everyone listening. To the systems we work within. To the ideas that never get the credit, never get tested, never change the course of our work or our society.

In my online communities - particularly those for women - the contrast is striking. There’s dialogue, not one-upmanship. Curiosity, not correction. Women ask questions, challenge ideas thoughtfully, and when someone oversteps, it’s handled with care.

But when men join the conversation - even kind, intelligent, well-meaning men - something often shifts. The tone changes. The flow of conversation narrows. And often, women start to disappear from the discussion.

This piece is not about individual blame. It’s about structure. Social patterns. Habits we’ve inherited from systems that weren’t built for all of us. And what we lose when we don’t notice.

Let’s talk about where this shows up, how it persists - and what we can do about it.

So what do we do about all this?

We start by naming the patterns clearly. We move from silence to clarity. From discomfort to responsibility. And most importantly - we act.

Note: While many of these points may be phrased as if directed at men, it’s often women who read, reflect, and share this kind of article. And that’s part of the pattern too. Many men don’t feel they have to. They’re fine. They assume the system works because it works for them.

1. Say what’s happening - even when it’s subtle
   When someone is interrupted, dismissed, or sidelined, speak up. You don’t need to be aggressive. A simple: “I’d like to hear her finish,” or “She just made that point,” can shift the dynamic in the room.

2. Don’t just listen - believe what you hear
   Women don’t need more polite nods. They need to be believed. When a woman describes a pattern of dismissal or bias, resist the urge to explain it away. Instead, assume there’s a structure behind it - not just a situation.

3. Change the questions
   At networking events, ask women about their research, goals or next project - not their family status. Female scientists are consistently asked how they manage to combine family and career. Their male colleagues are not. Shift your own habits first. It signals what you value, and others follow that cue.

4. Notice the patterns
   Notice how women are asked about their work-life balance, while men are asked about their leadership vision. How women are called by their first names in formal settings, while men are given their titles. How men are hired for potential - women for their track record. How then are they expected to grow?

5. Mind the visuals
   In a group photo of economists, the one woman is almost always placed in the centre - as if her inclusion must be signalled. But rarely is she quoted or heard in the discussion that follows. Representation must extend beyond image.

6. Call out lazy bias
   Some men still refer to maternity leave as “a holiday.” In a research team, I’ve heard adult, professional women referred to as “the girls,” while the men were simply “the men.” That shapes perception - and perception shapes opportunity.

7. Take the hard roles too
   When women are appointed CEOs, it is statistically more likely to be when the organisation is already in trouble (Ryan & Haslam, 2005). Men decline those roles more often. Women say yes - often because they think holistically, about the people, the mission, the impact. And yet, because they are brought in under difficult circumstances, they are more likely to be blamed if things go wrong.

8. Amplify and credit women’s ideas
   If you hear something smart from a woman in a meeting, repeat it and credit her. Don’t repackage it. Don’t paraphrase it. Echo it. That’s how ideas stick to the right names.

9. Stay in the conversation
   It’s tempting to disengage when you feel criticised. But staying present - staying curious - is where change starts. Especially for those who’ve had the benefit of being heard.

10. Redefine what 'winning' means
    Many men are socialised to view success as competitive – a matter of you vs. me. Many women, in contrast, focus on collaborative achievement – how we win together. When decision-making defaults to competition, we risk undermining solutions that benefit everyone. Collaborative leadership isn’t softer – it’s smarter.

This isn’t about demonising men. It’s about having them think. And it’s not about fixing everything at once. It’s about choosing, daily, to behave differently. And those choices - when made collectively - shift culture.

When women hold back, entire perspectives go missing. Not because they don’t have something to say - but because the cost of speaking becomes too high. They’re tired of being interrupted. Of being doubted. Of receiving comments on their tone instead of their content. Of being asked how they manage their families instead of being asked about their research.

This leads to self-censorship. Silence. Withdrawal from panels, boards, public debate.

And that’s not just an issue of representation - it’s a democratic one.

A society where only some voices are heard and others are endlessly questioned is not a neutral system. It’s a filtered conversation. And filtered conversations protect the status quo.

When we discourage or discredit women’s voices, we lose insight, innovation, and lived reality. We lose potential breakthroughs. We lose challenges to the norm that could have made our systems smarter, our policies better, our organisations more effective.

This is why it matters. Not just for women - but for everyone.

None of this changes unless we do something.

Not just women pushing harder. But workplaces learning to listen. Leaders choosing to speak up. Colleagues recognising their habits. And people of all genders becoming aware of the systems they move within.

Women are not asking for special treatment. They’re asking for fairness. For credit. For room to speak and to be heard. For conversations where expertise matters more than tone, where leadership is recognised before crisis, and where ambition is not mistaken for arrogance.

If we want more inclusive workplaces, better decisions, stronger institutions, and more meaningful innovation, we need more voices – not fewer.

And we need to ensure those voices aren’t just invited, but welcomed, believed, and echoed.

References

1. Hancock, A. B., & Rubin, B. A. (2015). Influence of communication partner’s gender on language. Journal of Language and Social Psychology, 34(1), 46–64.

2. Moss-Racusin, C. A., Dovidio, J. F., Brescoll, V. L., Graham, M. J., & Handelsman, J. (2012). Science faculty’s subtle gender biases favour male students. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 109(41), 16474–16479. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1211286109

3. UNESCO & ICFJ (2020). Online violence against women journalists: A global snapshot. https://www.unesco.org/en/articles/unescos-global-survey-online-violence-against-women-journalists

4. World Wide Web Foundation. (2020). Women’s Rights Online: Closing the digital gender gap for a more equal world. https://webfoundation.org/research/womens-rights-online-2020/

5. Ryan, M. K., & Haslam, S. A. (2005). The glass cliff: Evidence that women are over-represented in precarious leadership positions. British Journal of Management, 16(2), 81–90. https://blogs.lse.ac.uk/businessreview/2016/05/10/women-are-more-likely-than-men-to-be-appointed-ceo-of-firms-in-crisis/