Anerkendelse er vigtigt/ Recognition matters


Anerkendelse er ikke ros - det er også det at SE, at andre leverer en indsats


Jeg er involveret i noget frivilligt arbejde, hvor vi bruger en del tid, kører til og fra etc. Og vi, der gør det har nogen udgifter på det. Og det er ok. Vi gør det jo, fordi vi finder mening med vores arbejde.


For nylig oplevede vi så, at et af medlemmerne brugte temmelig lang tid på at fortælle os, der er aktive, hvordan vi gjorde det hele forkert og ikke var kompetente. Og det må man jo godt synes. Men på intet tidspunkt fik vi den mindste smule anerkendelse for de mange timers arbejde, vi har lagt kvit og frit. Og sådan når jeg ser bagud på episoden, så er det faktisk det, der står for mig som det mest sølle.


Den episode har givet mig to læringer:

  • Hvis du synes nogen gør noget forkert, så kan du fint respektfuldt fortælle, HVAD du synes, de bør gøre i stedet for. Det kan være meget svært at ændre noget, hvis man ikke bliver præsenteret for alternativer.

  • Du skal huske altid at anerkende den gode intention. Det er virkelig, virkelig sjældent, at mennesker handler med det formål at nedbryde. De fleste arbejder for at bygge noget op.


Og hvad får du så ud af den lille anerkendelse:

  • Du får simpelt hen mere lyttetid hos den, du taler med, hvis du viser dem, at du ved, at det, de gør, kommer fra det rette sted

  • Du vil opdage, at din samtalepartner ikke er i defensiven - hvor ørerne har en tendens til at lukke - men er mere samarbejdsorienteret. Og derved kan I sammen skabe de gode løsninger.


Og helt ærligt: Det koster ikke dig noget at anerkende andre for noget. Det er helt gratis.



Recognition matters


I am involved in some volunteer work where we spend a lot of time, drive back and forth etc – and we do so at some personal expense – and that’s ok. We do it because we find meaning in the work we do.


Recently, we experienced that one of the non-active members spent quite some time trying to tell us how we did it all wrong and weren’t really competent. And of course, he’s free to think what he likes. But at no point did we get the slightest bit of recognition for the many hours of work we have put in for nothing. And so, when I look back on this episode, that stands out to me as being really petty.


That episode taught me two things:

  • If you think someone is doing something wrong, then you’re welcome to tell them respectfully what you think they should do instead. It can be very difficult to change anything unless we are presented with alternatives.

  • Always remember to recognize the good intention. It's really, really rare that people act with the sole purpose of breaking something down. Most people work to construct something.


And what do you get from that bit of recognition:

  • You simply get more listening time with the person you are talking to, if you show them that you know that what they are doing, and that you know it’s with the best of intentions

  • You will find that your conversation partner is not on the defensive – where the listening skills go down and the ears close – and that they are more tuned towards collaboration. And as a result, the two of you can create the good solutions.


And honestly: It doesn’t cost you anything to acknowledge others for something. It is completely free.

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