Tag den svære beslutning / Make that hard decision

Jeg har selv lige været igennem, hvad jeg kun kan kalde for en svær beslutning. En af de hårde beslutninger, man bliver nødt til at tage for at sikre en balance i livet. Jeg måtte sige farvel til noget i mit liv, som har fyldt meget, som har givet mig stor fornøjelse men i stigende grad også frustrationer, fordi jeg kunne se, at det, der gav mening for mig, havde en høj pris for mine omgivelser.

Den slags beslutninger er IKKE nemme. Man kan vælge at ignorere alarmklokkerne i baghovedet, men det svarer til at tisse i bukserne for at holde varmen: Det giver bagslag senere. Jeg har tidligere i mit liv ignoreret de klokker – og det gav mig en stress-omgang, som jeg ikke synes, nogen skal opleve. Det tog mig fx ca. 4 år at komme helt tilbage på niveau.

Det var derfor en meget nødvendig beslutning, der handlede om, at jeg skulle give slip på noget meningsfyldt. Men jeg kunne gøre det, fordi jeg løbende i mit voksne liv er helt pivskarp på, hvad der er vigtigst, og hvad der kommer i anden række. Det har jeg skrevet om tidligere, hvordan man gør.

Hvis du står over for at skulle tage en hård beslutning, så er en velkendt coaching-metode følgende:

• Tegn en tabel med syv kolonner – helst på en stykke A3-papir.
• I den første kolonne skriver du beslutningen, der måske skal tages.
• I den anden kolonne skriver du, hvad de mulige negative konsekvenser kan være
• I den tredje kolonne skriver du på en skala fra 1-10 hvor sandsynligt det er, at det sker
• I den fjerde kolonne skriver du på en skala fra 1-10, hvilken betydning, det har
• I den femte kolonne skriver du de positive konsekvenser af sådan en beslutning
• I den sjette kolonne skriver du på en skala fra 1-10 hvor sandsynligt det er, at det sker
• I den syvende kolonne skriver du på en skala fra 1-10, hvilken betydning, det har

Du kan lave lige så mange linjer, du har brug for. Det handler om, at få beslutningen belyst fra så mange sider som muligt.

Det er en kraftigt udvidet og noget revisoragtig fordele/ulemper-liste, men den er betydeligt mere kvalificeret end den traditionelle. Og den gør det meget lettere at lytte til de alarmklokker, du måske har i baghovedet.

Make that hard decision

I have just gone through what I can only call a difficult decision. One of those tough decisions that you have to make to ensure a balance in life. I had to let something in my life go – something that has taken up a lot of space and which has given me great joy but also an increasing amount of frustration because I could see that what was enriching to me came at a high price for my surroundings.

These kinds of decisions are NOT easy. You can choose to ignore the alarms going off in the back of your head but that would be equal to peeing in your trousers for heat: There will be a price to pay later. Previously in my life, I have ignored those alarms which resulted in a massive burn-out that I wouldn't wish for anyone. One reason is that it took me approx.. 4 years to get back to where I like to be.

So the decision I had to make was a necessary one which was about letting something go even if I found it meaningful. But I was able to do it because I’m very conscious about what comes first in my life and what comes second. I've written about this before.

If you're facing having to make a hard decision, a well-known coaching method is this:

• Draw a table with seven columns – preferably on a large piece of paper
• In the first column, you write which decision you may have to make
• In the second column, you write on a scale from 1-10 the possible negative consequences
• In the third column, you write on a scale from 1-10 how likely it is that this would happen
• In the fourth column, you write on a scale from 1-10 the importance of this
• In the fifth column, you write the positive consequences of the decision
• In the sixth column, you write on a scale from 1-10 how likely it is that this would happen
• In the seventh column, you write on a scale from 1-10 the importance of this

Make as many lines as you need. It’s all about looking at the decision from as many angles as possible.

This is an extended and very accountant-like list of pros and cons but it’s a lot better founded than the traditional one. And it makes it much easier to listen and act on the alarms you may be hearing.

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